08: Breasthany’s world

Oh Season 2, what fond memories I have of you.

Yoanna wasn’t finished

Jenascia was hungry

And there was just one bag of Rolitos left.

But I want to talk you through the ANTM experience through the eyes of this contestant who didn’t get to experience most of it: Bethany. This is her:

Bethany was 22 and that is honestly a little shocking, I think she lied about her age. Also: she didn’t really have a model’s body, which is confirmed by contestant Xiomara.

Say, Xiomara can you think of a word for ‘fuller figured’ that could be quite nice, but when you put a question mark behind it it just means ‘fat’, to describe Bethany?

Thanks Xio girl! The first thing Bethany said was that she didn’t want people to not just notice her boobs, but would start looking at some talent. This is her trying her hardest to not show people her boobs in her audition video:

Nope, didn’t see ‘em

But anyway, once she met the other contestants Bethany was particularly critical of her competitor Shandi. Bethany knew for sure Shandi did not have talent (or boobs, but everyone could see that).

You remember Shandi. She was the ugly duckling. Here she is talking about how she didn’t used to but she now likes to dress girly in her audition video:

(seriously that is what she’s saying whilst that is her outfit)

One comment that Bethany made about Shandi physically is that:

“her eyes are kind of close together which kinda reminds me of a bird”

Which I find interesting for multiple reasons.
Firstly, because birds actually have eyes on the side of their head.  Most birds have to turn their head to look forward, that’s how far apart they are.

But in addition to not knowing what a bird is, I don’t really think Bethany understood what modelling was. She thought it took boobs talent. But let’s be real, you have to look like a fashion model to be a fashion model. Here’s what she had to say about Shandi’s ‘talent’ (whatever that means):

Thank for informing us Beth. I now want to take you back to the very first episode in which the girls had to do a shocking nude shoot.

Conservative ‘plus size’ model Anna refused to do the shoot, as they always do (right Robbynnnne?). She gives the strangest explanation ever of why she didn’t want to do the shoot.

To this day I’m unsure of what she means by this.

I’d like to make a side note that I don’t really get how Anna was considered plus-size (by Tyra), the UPN website lists her as 130 pounds (rougly 58 kilos), which was less than quite a few of the ‘straight sized’ girls this season. That’s just odd.

But she did say the word ‘coochie’ on national TV, so that is something.

This would unfortunately mean the end of Anna on TV. I wish would have at least said coochie a few more times. No one else had any problems with posing naked. Let’s take a look at Shandi’s picture in which she (like almost all the other girls) portrayed Eve.

Looks like Eve to me. Her Adam looks derpy in the face though.

Bethany clearly had a different brief than the other girls and judging by this picture she was instructed to portray ‘Smurfette’, from The Smurfs: an XXX parody:

Nailed it.

Anyway, the judges somehow sort of like Bethany’s shot, and she got to go on to the next week.

In the week two photoshoot, the girls had to style themselves in their own clothes, do their own make-up and choose their own shots. This means that the client ended up with completely unusable shots. Showing the true goings on of the modeling world here, guys!

But maybe the ‘client’ wasn’t all that serious anyway, because they sent someone to photograph them dressed in what appears to be a wetsuit even though they were nowhere near water (so a crazy person):

Bethany’s obsession with her boobs and ‘sensual’ look and how she thought that inhibited people to realise her modeling ‘talent’ intensified, but somehow she posed overly sexy and chose the shot in which she looked most like a (busted) pin up.

But as it turns out, Shandi (Beth’s nemesis) was also struggling with the tasks, this is her showing her ‘runway walk to the judges:

Also, Xiomara is looking for her crack pipe, so if someone finds it please return it?

Unfortunately for Bethany, the judges decided she was the worst and she was home. Unsurprisingly Bethany didn’t do much modeling after the show.

What Bethany would not have predicted is that Shandi actually started to excel in the competition after this week. Shandi could deal very well with the extravagant (and sometimes BS) photoshoots they threw her way and looked beautiful on set.

Like here:

and here:

okay not here:

but you get my point.

I would even argue that the judges really saw Shandi as the most likely winner at one point, even her walk was pretty decent by the end.  She did well in the international destination (Milan), perhaps because she was a waif, and the clothes in Milan fit her so well.

But then Shandi hit a wall, or more rather, she hit up some Italian boy’s penis with her vagina. You see, in Milan some modely guys came over, and there was wine, there was a hot tub

And this already looks like semen soup, you know where this is heading.

So Shandi totally banged a dude and then she had to phone her boyfriend. This is her boyfriend’s iconic reaction after telling him she had some canolli the previous night:

She totally did.

Realising that she might have just ended her relationship Shandi felt really down. While they had to look for an ‘Italian style’ outfit (nobody bought a pizza suit unfortunately) in a flee market she sulked. Also she said this:

That’s not what you were saying last night, dear.

Anyway, Shandi was mentally checked out of the competition, and I think the judges picked up on that. So she was sent home just before the final.

Back home her relationship ended (having sex with someone else on national TV turns out to be a bit of a dealbreaker), she cut off her hair and she got some tattoos.

Not sure if the ‘stache is real.

And at that point in turns out Bethany was a bit of a prophet (she looks old enough to be one, that should have tipped us off). People didn’t see ‘it’ anymore in Shandi, and she didn’t have a modeling career at all.

To finish this entry I would like to take a look at a portrait Terry D. Penner made of Bethany:

I’m sure he could really see her ‘talent’.

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