02: The four faces of Natasha

Natasha from Season 8 is one of my favourite characters on the show ever. This is a bit of a character entry on our favourite mail order Russian bride.

In episode 7 the girls had to make up a new name and I don’t know why. They had to present their new name at a pool party (again, I don’t know why). Jael got pushed into a pool by 50 cent.

And Renee found out her new name ‘Nayiem‘ sounds exactly like ‘Name‘.

Anyway later in the episode Natasha, Jael, Name and the other remaining girls had to do a shoot where they were instructed to portray four facets of their personality.

They were then edited together and then made hideous by surrounding them with frames like it’s photo studio software from 1996. Also: these are some of the ugliest frames I have ever seen, what even is this?

What the hell would look good in this frame?

Nope, sorry.


Seriously, nothing looks good in that. Most people seemed to (incorrectly) describe their personality, but not Natasha, because Natasha is special. Natasha instead went for the four (rather rudimentary) emotions: Happy, Suprised, Sad & Sexy (I just love that she chose surprised as a permanent state within herself).

While one might think she misunderstood the assignment because of the language barrier, she actually made a correct personality assessment of herself. Natasha is these things.

Let me illustrate this with a moment from the show

Happy: When she gets told she’s marching rather than walking and she interprets this as if she’s being told like she is from Mars and her runway walk is so good it is otherworldly.

Surprised: When Tyra’s wig falls off after taking off a Kangeroo suit. (oh and also because she just understood that they were going to Australia)

Sad: When she recalls her tragic childhood of going to the forest or something. Who knows, no one could tell because she spoke too softly. According to Natasha everyone had to listen to her this way. It’s a great tip, and I do not get why whispering isn’t a strategy implemented during speeches at the Meetings of the General Assembly of the UN.

Sexy: When she’s engaging in phone sex with her husband with every other girl in the room and asked him if he remembers “everything”, which basically means she asked him if he remembers her vagina.

You see? Spot on. And to be honest you can categorise everything Natasha did on the show in these four categories. I’ll be talking a little more about Natasha in a future post when I’ll discuss the greatest quote in history. Spoiler alert: it’s a tale of failed go-sees and people having war in their countries.

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