01: Braidy Bunch

So for the very first post on this site ever why not talk about one of the things that make ANTM the great show it is: Tyra. Not because Tyra is very helpful, an amazingly good host or concise in what she says, but exactly because Tyra is not those things.

A few former contestants of Rupaul’s Drag Race have given RuPaul flack for not remember all the contestants ever on his show, but Tyra doesn’t even seem to remember what she herself did during one of the most signature segments of the show: The makeovers.

Which gives tyra the opportunity to do this with her face.

You see in Season 2 there was a girl named Camille. Here she. She did this make up herself.

She was kind of a bitch, but more importantly came in the competition having braided hair. As you can see here in her promo picture, which are taken before the show In episode 3, when the makeovers came Tyra commented that Camille’s braids weren’t versatile enough for her to model, so that Camille would get a sleak straight ‘do instead. She was sporting this do when she infamously states that her signature walk is going to make her

Unfortunately for Camille, this did not turn out to be the case (oh at all). Also: this wasn’t her signature walk, but I felt the need to post this anyway.

In the next season, there was a girl named Yaya. She came to the defence of a bulimic stripper named Cassie You see, Ann and Eva had decided to mutilate Cassie’s carefully baked low-carb brownies They did this because she didn’t clean up after herself. She apparently used two eggs, a sponge and a carving knive.

Which was very disrespectful because (according to Cassie) they cost her 6 whole dollars.

I want to shortly take you back to that day. Imagine you are Yaya in and you have just found out about some girls touching other people’s stuff.

This is the moment you have been waiting for, you know you have a shirt that says Respeito, and you know you desperately want to wear that shit.You feel it! This is the right time, and you pull the shirt out from your closet and you proudly wear it to lunch.

But wait, what if no one notices? That way you could not make your opinion heard about the situation you so desperately want to be involved in. Luckily, your fears subside when culprit Ann luckily just flat out ask you: “Yaya, what does your shirt say?”. You tell her

..and that it means respect in Portuguese and you are wearing it because there is a lack of respect of it in your vicinity. How does this help? No idea, but you turn to her and calmy state you:

Okay, I’ve gotten a little of track here, but Yaya came in with natural hair and braids. When the makeover came (in episode 3) Tyra told Yaya that her hair would severely hinder her modelling career and that she decided to take her braids out. Noted Tyra. You have mentioned in two seasons in a row now.

In Season 4 there was no one with braids and either the modelling world pulled a complete 180 about their stance on braids or Season 4 completely wiped Tyra’s memory about braids in the modelling world (Spoiler alert: it’s the latter) Because, you see, in Season 5 there was a girl by the name of Ebony and she didn’t want you to get it twisted.

Well too bad for here because when her makeover was revealed Ebony got…braids! Yes, the same exact thing Tyra told not one but TWO girls previously wasn’t marketable in the modelling industry. And not just any type of braids, braids that go Which is another thing Tyra has mentioned is not something models should have. They put poor Ebony in a chair for thirteen (!) long hours to get her braids. She then took this unfortunate picture:

and was sent home.

So what is the moral of this story? Tyra doesn’t think braids make you look like a model and if you ever meet her and she tries to give you braids down to your asshole, you will know it is because she is trying to send you home. Life lessons people, and not that philisophical shit, but purely useful applicable tips.

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1 Comment

  1. Boris 14th November 2017

    Queen of writing posts!
    This is hilarious lmao

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